Review: When I See Blue
Gaby Meares
Thank you to The Australian Children’s Book Council for the opportunity to review this book which was originally published on Readingtime.com.au.
I found reading this book exhausting! It’s exhausting because you walk in the shoes of Ben who is living with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), and OCD is exhausting!
Twelve year old Ben has moved to London from Essex and is starting at a new school; an anxious time for any kid, let alone one with OCD. His lucky number is four, and ‘The Thoughts’ tell him that as long as he does things in fours, everything, and everyone, will be ok. If he doesn’t, then something bad will happen (his dog will die, his mother will get sick), and it will all be his fault. Image trying to live your life with that sort of weight of responsibility on your shoulders. So, the bully in his head tells him Read sixteen more pages or Mum will leave, open and close the door four times or you’ll never make any friends, do the switches another sixty-four times or Dad will lose his job, touch the ceiling four times and you can make all these things not happen…
And as if that’s not enough for Ben to deal with, his mother is struggling with an alcohol addiction, his father leaves home and his older brother remains distant and surly. One of the most difficult issues I found with this book was the self-absorption of the parents, particularly the father, who just up and leaves without any explanation because ‘he can’t cope’ with the mother’s drinking. He makes no attempt to contact either of the children and leaves them with a mother who is barely functioning. I found this particularly disturbing, and I think some children would feel the same way.
But Ben’s world changes when he becomes friends with April, who makes him realise that maybe he doesn’t need to do what The Thoughts tell him to do. Together with guidance from a counsellor, Ben begins to see a way past the bully in his head. When April goes missing, Ben discovers that being brave is less about the ‘big, dramatic acts of bravery’ and more about ‘our own more private triumphs…challenging the fear in your head is the bravest thing you can do’.
I learnt so much about OCD from reading this book, and now have a much better understanding of how debilitating it can be. The author has seamlessly integrated this information into an engaging story about a boy finding his place in the world. Not only is When I See Blue utterly charming, but I feel it would make an excellent book for a class text.
I err on the side of caution regarding recommended reading age and suggest 12+ years.
Teachers’ resources are available from the publisher’s website